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Behind Narcissism

Author: Miina Piir

Original language: Estonian

First printed: Q1/ 2022

 

Miina Piir is Estonian psychotherapist, NLP practitioner, minister, padre and pastoral caregiver. She has written plays and articles and in 1996-2000 solo-published Beautiful Health journal.

“It is important to understand, that this book, that has no ambition to be an academical view of anything, cannot be written sober. And as I am a very small alcohol user, I decided to rather bring in a little good-natured irony, without which it would have been too hard to write on this topic, if not utterly devastating.

Or – as a narcissist would put it – without irony, this book would not have been born and all of you had lived happily ever after as ignorant as before.”

Miina Piir

Extract.

“To protect themselves from a feeling of “nobody loves me”, narcissists imagine that they are utterly lovable people and therefore they love them themselves. Even though they are not very successful in that. They go back and forth from self-admiration to self-despise and depend on the desire to be admired by everyone. For them, there are no needs that they could not meet by themselves, but as there is also no self-confidence, this conviction causes nothing else but vulnerability and hence disappointment. The feeling of unworthiness and emptiness make them continuously chase acceptance, and in relationships they expect all their subconscious needs to be met. They fail to develop rational self-image and responsibility and compassion.”